My writing has been suffering, and I know exactly why. However, I didn’t connect the dots until I saw my fear of starting in another area.
If I can’t hit a home run, I tend to hang in the dugout until I feel “ready.” Ready as in now I can smash the ball.
Basically, it’s a case of perfectionism. This sounds insanely ridiculous because nothing I do even comes near to perfect. But I’m relearning something about myself - I don’t like to fail. I mean, do any of us?
While no one likes to fail, some of us are ok with the process of becoming better and realize failure is simply part of it.
Years ago I enjoyed a brief season of making sourdough bread. After I failed to keep my starter alive, I laid down the sourdough. Now I’m ready to pick it back up. But I’ve been struggling to start.
My friend finally got to the point of sending me her own personal step by step videos. Bless her for taking me on. I literally just kept the starter staring back at me from the fridge afraid to start this process because I’ve had more than a few failures.
In her videos she showed me multiple times that the step she was on wasn’t perfect, but she was moving forward anyway. And that’s when it struck me.
It’s ok if the step we are on doesn’t look as perfect as we hope. Take it anyway. We may wobble or stumble, we may even fall, but we will get back up and start again.
So with my sourdough, I decided to simply start. I pulled the starter out and began to feed and nurture it. It’s not thriving. I’m still a beginner. It’s ok.
You know what? I feel better about myself having actually started, having actually done something with this bread than I did staring at the starter knowing my fear of failure was running the show.
And that’s what is happening in my writing life. I’ve not submitted many freelance articles as of late. I don’t have any ideas I feel I could write into a home run essay. So I have simply done nothing when what I should be doing is something. Anything. Even if it means writing five essays I never submit. At least it’s practice and one step closer to the goal.
Nike really nailed it with their “Just do it” slogan.
Just do it anyway. Even if you feel not ready. Even if you feel you need more time. Even if you feel scared. Even if…..
Just do something. You will feel better for the something that needs work than you will with the nothing afraid to move.
So very true…William and I both are in that season! Just do something, right!